I feel soft and frilly tonight.
This is my girlfriend…she is prettier than you.
For these perfectionists, when their compulsion is not ideal (which is almost all the time) they feel bad, beset with inner feelings like inferiority, inadequacy, guilt, anxiety, jealousy, or emptiness. They think, “If it’s not perfect then it’s bad” or “If I can’t do it right then I won’t do it at all.” This kind of black and white, all-or-nothing thinking gets perfectionists into trouble. They often procrastinate, neglect responsibilities and commitments, or isolate from others. And even when they have succeeded they don’t enjoy their success. “It could’ve been even better,” they think, or they’ve already moved on to perfecting their next project.
I cant help but think to myself that im just a fat, lazy sack of shit who does nothing but watch netflix all day and that i am slowly loosing any shred of talent that i ever had. And that no matter what i do ill never be healthy again and ill never be as good as i once was..maybe i should just give up now and work in fucking cubicle for the rest of my life???
P.S. I still cant tell the difference between overthinking and actually making mistakes..
P.S.S. No one will read this and realize its a cry for help…who the fuck can help me anyway